I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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