ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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