I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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