So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What a dumb baby whore.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
