I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
