The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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