Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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