dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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