Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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