is this the sara with the beer cane?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
