how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
