i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
