can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
