my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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