If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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