He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize