Heybabeimwearingurpanties
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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