we're chasing vodka with high fives
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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