Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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