In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
