You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
