I smell stomach acid.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
