babies were throwing up all over the place
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
