Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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