can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
