A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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