So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i think my cat just said my name.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
