let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
