You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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