We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
