seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
