Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
