He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I seem to have left my pride at pride
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
