Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
