i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
