I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
