Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
