We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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