Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
