I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
