two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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