you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
