im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
