Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
