textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i think my cat just said my name.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
