Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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