do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
