haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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