I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
