I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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