Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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