There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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